Wanting to Stay Put

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This week I don’t feel like moving anywhere. It’s cool in the morning, but the sun is out and in the afternoon it’s t-shirt warm and possibility is in the air. And the possibility I feel right now is centered on my garden and what I planted last year and what I would plant this year if I would be here in late summer to harvest it. And that all feels like a metaphor for the rest of life. Relationships that we’ve built this year, friendships that the children and I have made over various learning activities all feel like good seedlings that we’ve watched grow over this year, and I don’t want leave them. This week instead of feeling like taking an adventurous year and moving to the other side of the world, I’ve felt more like finding the house where I’ll live the next thirty years, planting fruit trees to harvest in five years, thinking about rooms that will welcome my children’s friends through the high school years. Yesterday two of our cousins came to play for the afternoon. It was a busy but sunny time and the boys practiced skateboarding on the new driveway (it’s got a perfect beginner gentle slope – thanks, Fred!) Made me a little sad that those relationships will need to be put on hold, too. I know it’s for a limited time, and long-distance relationships are not really “on hold” – friends reading this and commenting from afar are testimony to the fact that friendships can continue with technology and effort. Goodness, if it weren’t true, Zeus and I never would have stayed together and gotten married. I think that it is the joy this year of finally finding some likeminded homeschooling friends to do life with. Nothing special – I’m doing my everyday stuff, you’re doing your everyday stuff – let’s just do it together. So I’m talking to God about it all – and to you – and trusting that He knows what He is doing and what He has called us to. And yes, it’s all exciting and the prospects of being with relatives Over There and living all that together as a family are wonderful. But still this week, before I get back into the mode of excitement and preparation, I need to be honest with myself that that’s how I feel. Today I want to be settled, to have a plan, to put my roots down further. I wonder if Abraham – or more accurately, Sarah – ever felt like that. At the park with cousins Andy and JulianaIMG_8290Lovin’ the February SunshineIMG_8202 Cousin Juliana enjoying the rope swing at our houseIMG_8247SistersIMG_8278

Travel Prep – The Driveway

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Anyone who has come to our house in the past twelve years has encountered quite a bumpy ride down the driveway. Bumpy as in “4-wheelin’.”  We bought the house complete with broken up driveway, and unlike the windows which we replaced right away, we never got around to fixing that driveway. The pine tree roots just kept pushing upward and the driveway just kept getting worse. We had bids to fix it a couple of times, we had dreams about completely remodeling our house and reconfiguring the driveway several more times, we had dreamy-eyed husband thoughts of “I’ll bet I could fix that myself” a few times, and not surprisingly just as many wifely deer-in-the-headlights “oh, please, no!” moments of fright. But mostly uncertainty and cost paralyzed us in inaction. Now with a departure date looming and plans to rent out our home, we had to face the inevitable: finally do something about the driveway or face a liability suit from the renter’s Great Auntie who tripped and broke her head as she fell over a chunk of broken driveway concrete. So we called our friend Fred. Fred is in the concrete business and had been to our house in the past and gotten the shudders from our pitiful driveway.  He lives three hours away so Zeus gave him the details via email, cleverly using a satellite map to draw the dimensions. Providentially for us, Fred happened to be having a slow week and was up for a bit of long distance concrete work. He emailed the bid with the blank for our address filled in as “Big City,” and when we got back to him in the affirmative on Friday, he said: “How about Monday?” Startled, we countered hopefully back, “Tuesday?” and quickly called the “Call before you dig” utility people.  So Tuesday it was. Fred and his son Freddy arrived at 7 a.m. with their dump truck and hoe and got straight to work breaking up old concrete and hauling it away. They worked twelve straight hours, and thinking about it makes me tired. We fed them dinner and away they drove, leaving the landscape all graded and graveled and ready. Thursday morning they were back to pour the concrete – another exciting day for us. The boys took up their posts at the living room windows. Talk about a great show! So now we have a fabulous new driveway! Kids might even be able to ride their bikes down it without wiping out. Don’t know if we’ll ever be able to drive on it, though. It’s so fancy! When it was all done, the kids said, “It’s a driveway worthy of a Rich People House! Thank you, Fred. One more step forward towards the Big Plan.   Before – the 4-Wheelin’ bumps are not as prominent in this photo but they are there IMG_8060 During – Moe the Hoe hard at work IMG_8064 My boys at their post watching the action IMG_8075 After – ahhhhh! So beautiful! IMG_8186

A Valentine for Gentle Readers

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When I was a little girl, my Grandma Leda had this sweet poem in a old-fashioned frame in her powder room, and I used to ponder it when I would go sit and “powder my nose” for a spell. At the tender age of 6, I’m not sure I had any friends that could be considered “old” and it has taken on more meaning over time.

I am so grateful for the blessing of my friends, both silver and gold, and so if you did not receive a tangible Valentine, dear Friend, this one is for you. Happy Valentine’s Day!

A Valentine Poem

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A couple weeks ago, I was looking for something in my Sweetie’s “Drawer of Mystery” – that is, the drawer full of miscellaneous papers. I didn’t find what I was looking for, but I did find the Valentine’s Day card with poem I made him a couple years ago. I was touched that it was there, sharing space with important documents and passports. I read it, and even with the fresh eyes of time passed, I decided that it wasn’t too bad. So at the risk of being exhibitionist, I’ll share it with you. Hopefully he’ll get another one this year, but you will have to wait a couple more years to read that one. At the time, we’d just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary.

Love Poem Number Fifteen

The other fourteen are all here too,
The poems that should have been written long ago.
They swirl around in this one,
gathering like relatives
to look on with awe and envy at the cousin who made it big,
who actually got written.

So all fifteen are here, one for each year,
Here in this poem
And here always shaking around in my little gray cells,
All the words that mean you to me:

Noble, constant, brightness, honorable, anchor, delight,
Steady as the beat of my own heart and much much stronger.

But poetry takes distance and reflection,
Scarce commodities for us these days
And how to capture the thing nearest to me,
Close as my own breath?

That heart monitor I gave you for our anniversary –
It wasn’t about health or weight really.
It was about what I wish I could be to you,
Always present, always steady,
The reason for my existence
to count quietly
each beat of your heart.

Valentines

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I love Valentine’s Day. It may have started as a saint day and been transformed into another consumer holiday by American marketers, but I just love the sweetness of a day dedicated to secret greetings, poetry and pink candies! When the kids were in school there was a year that we bought Valentines with a recognizable Disney personality on them, but they left us with a hollow feeling – the whole process was over so fast – and we went back to making our own.
One Valentine’s when the girls were really small, we put a lot of effort into making a Sparrow Post Office in which to keep the Valentines we had made until it was time to deliver them. This was me copying straight out of A Time to Keep: The Tasha Tudor Book of Holidays.
She is one of my favorite artists and turning through the pages of this book makes me realize how much of my life I’ve attempted in some manner to fashion after her pictures! I took a picture of the February page so you can see their Sparrow Post Office. IMG_8058Here is our Sparrow Post office, a little well-loved by the passing years, but standing strong. On the other end is a slot to slide the Valentines in, just like a real post office. That makes us happy! The lid lifts on one side to take them out for delivery. We made it out of cardboard boxes and I recall a happy day with the girls involving a lot of pink paint. I think this year it may be due for some new white fringe on the eaves to spruce it up a little.When it’s not in use, we store our Valentine-y bowls and supplies inside. IMG_8052 Here is Tasha’s other page for February, just for fun. I love her depiction of the lives of children of yesteryear and how she incorporates the beauty of the natural world on every page. IMG_8059As for our actual Valentines, they’ve been different every year, but last year I hit on something that really felt like me: cut out words glued together on a doily heart to make special messages. Yes, it’s just words strung together and I could just as well have printed them out on my computer. But, No, actually, I couldn’t have. Like with magnetic poetry, only in playing around with the actual tangible words would I come up with such interesting and priceless bits of love message as we progress in saving love, you delighted your mom, and how to stop and enjoy. Sort of like the curious short messages on candy hearts – the ones that taste like chalk but without which Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be the same. For Hermes I found and glued the words: that cute thing. To a musical friend, I gave a creation that said moms can sing every day. She kept it on her dashboard for a long time to remind her to sing! For my sweetie? You can share the strong love! Here they are. When we dug out the Sparrow Post Office and opened it up, there they were! IMG_8053 So I think I will get busy cutting up old magazines and making new snippets of poetry for this year. But I would also love to hear about any new special, creative idea for homemade Valentines, so please pass them along.