Wanting to Stay Put

This week I don’t feel like moving anywhere. It’s cool in the morning, but the sun is out and in the afternoon it’s t-shirt warm and possibility is in the air. And the possibility I feel right now is centered on my garden and what I planted last year and what I would plant this year if I would be here in late summer to harvest it. And that all feels like a metaphor for the rest of life. Relationships that we’ve built this year, friendships that the children and I have made over various learning activities all feel like good seedlings that we’ve watched grow over this year, and I don’t want leave them. This week instead of feeling like taking an adventurous year and moving to the other side of the world, I’ve felt more like finding the house where I’ll live the next thirty years, planting fruit trees to harvest in five years, thinking about rooms that will welcome my children’s friends through the high school years. Yesterday two of our cousins came to play for the afternoon. It was a busy but sunny time and the boys practiced skateboarding on the new driveway (it’s got a perfect beginner gentle slope – thanks, Fred!) Made me a little sad that those relationships will need to be put on hold, too. I know it’s for a limited time, and long-distance relationships are not really “on hold” – friends reading this and commenting from afar are testimony to the fact that friendships can continue with technology and effort. Goodness, if it weren’t true, Zeus and I never would have stayed together and gotten married. I think that it is the joy this year of finally finding some likeminded homeschooling friends to do life with. Nothing special – I’m doing my everyday stuff, you’re doing your everyday stuff – let’s just do it together. So I’m talking to God about it all – and to you – and trusting that He knows what He is doing and what He has called us to. And yes, it’s all exciting and the prospects of being with relatives Over There and living all that together as a family are wonderful. But still this week, before I get back into the mode of excitement and preparation, I need to be honest with myself that that’s how I feel. Today I want to be settled, to have a plan, to put my roots down further. I wonder if Abraham – or more accurately, Sarah – ever felt like that. At the park with cousins Andy and JulianaIMG_8290Lovin’ the February SunshineIMG_8202 Cousin Juliana enjoying the rope swing at our houseIMG_8247SistersIMG_8278

5 thoughts on “Wanting to Stay Put

  1. Oh, I'm just a big baby. That post made me cry again. I so understand how you are feeling, my friend! I don't quite know why I can, but I just can. And yet, like you, I know and trust God is taking you where He wants you to go…and I HOPE and trust He will bring you right back again! And that THEN you can put those roots in real deep…thanks for sharing your thoughts, as always.

  2. You are so very, very dear to me! And that will stay the same while you are there and when you return. I'll tend to the roots that are left while you are away then we'll find you your "big house", plant your fruit trees, start your garden again and carry on when you return.

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